Multiplication by Substitution

I love the humor of the Babylon Bee. It’s satirical news stories regularly make me laugh out loud. Sometimes the “stories” are too poignant to laugh at since the realism they portray hits the mark squarely in the bullseye.

But today’s story got me laughing, so I had to share.

A tragic fire claimed the home of local professor and old earth creationist Dr. Hank Thornton Thursday morning, as he reportedly attempted to pop a bag of popcorn for 1.7 million years, interpreting the instructional label of “Cook for 2:30” symbolically rather than arriving at the plain meaning of just two minutes and thirty seconds.

Sadly, we see this too often with the old earth crowd. When they look at scripture, they are able to fabricate deep time where none exists. But if we look at the whole of scripture, it becomes clear that God intended us to read his redemption story for what it truly is without redefining terms.

  • Genesis 1:14-19 How many different ways can one define “day” in these 6 verses?
  • Exodus 20:11 For in 6 days the LORD and rested on the 7th
  • Chrono-Genealogies of Genesis 11 (verified in I Chronicles, Matthew 1, and Luke 3)
  • Matt 23:35 Jesus seemed to think that Adam’s son from Genesis 4 was a real person
  • Mark 10:6 Jesus “For at the beginning of creation, He created…” (emphasis mine) Why argue with Jesus?

Meme-Mark10_6

 

We can trust the Creator with what he has revealed about history, and we can therefore trust Him with our future! Praise Him!!!

…and follow the instructions when preparing popcorn.

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2 thoughts on “Multiplication by Substitution

  1. “One of his fellow professors, a staunch gap theorist, later surmised that reading the popping instructions through a proper hermeneutic would reveal that the popcorn was to be placed in the microwave for approximately fourteen billion years, then popped for a literal two-and-a-half minutes.” Duh! [snicker]

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If we don’t take the days in Genesis literally, then how many millions of years was Jonah in the belly of a great fish? And how many millions of years was Jesus dead before he rose from the dead? Compromising Scripture with human reason is never works out very well.

    Liked by 1 person

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